June 19, 2014




12 thoughts on “June 19, 2014

  1. If cutting out all sugar, animal, and gluten products did not work, Elise would resort to the time honored tradition of weight loss via Photoshop and just never leave the house again, living a virtual life through social media, where she could be thin.

  2. Mr. T.H.E Sugarcup hadn’t been to a bachelor party in well over 45 years, since he was in his 20’s and he was sure the groom, young and poignant D. Jon Mustard, had only invited him to this shindig out of courtesy to the bride (Sugarcup’s own niece, Splenda); but Sugarcup was such a nervous old fool that when it came to be his turn to do a shot off the entertainment’s abdomen, he froze and simply remained sitting upon her bare belly causing quite the awkward pause for all his fellow party goers…

  3. She considered the package of sweetener that she had stolen from Denny’s and realized she was turning into her grandma.

  4. Despite the steamroller accident, he loved her – although shellacking her remains, bolting on four table legs and situating her in the dining room might not be the best way of showing it.

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