July 9, 2014




16 thoughts on “July 9, 2014

  1. Like a mourning loved one, the pawn store’s wall of guitars held silent vigil over the dying dreams of wannabe musicians.

  2. Travis wondered what, if anything, it meant that he called his curvy beauties Jim and Dave, while his buddies gave theirs classic pin-up names, like Betty and Jane.

  3. When the only guitar Sarah was interested in, the purple and gold glittered one with all the bells and whistles, was two thousand dollars, she wandered to the keyboard section, where they had a lime green stand with black zebra stripes on sale.

  4. Sally was trying to decide if she was feeling a little bit country or a little bit rock ‘n roll.

  5. When the 71 year old homeless man walked into the Guitar Center and picked up one of these guitars and started playing THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER like it was ON FIRE….the 72 year old ROCK -n- ROLLER employee looked him straight in the eye and said…..I KNEW YOU NEVER really OD’D, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!

  6. Inspired by Bryan Adams’ mythical ‘first real 6-string’ bought at a five and dime, Tommy was disappointed to learn that after three months of lawns, newspaper delivery and odd chores, he could still only afford to play the harmonica.

  7. The store had only one left-handed guitar, but that was all Larry needed, because a week later he lost his left hand in a lawnmower accident anyway.

  8. The guitar store had an excellent selection but she was confused when the tag on every guitar said “Not For Sale.”

  9. Jim dusted the guitars as the awful strains of that same teenaged wanker who came in everyday to ‘try’ the same guitars and play the same horrid Steve Vai solo over and over again.

  10. Bryan closed the booth door, dropped his trousers, grabbed two Kleenex and turned to the wall of musician porn, stroking the guitar strings as he stroked himself.

  11. Claire was furious when she returned home from the convention, he had done it, Peter had ordered the most expensive wallpaper he could find – damn you Fender!!!!!!!

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